Robert Barry Kaplan

Frequently-Asked Questions


About the Books
Q:	I really enjoy your website. It's very entertaining. I like the wry humor and the gently self-effacing tone. It's nice to discover a writer who isn't hopelessly full of himself. Are your books as entertaining as your website?



A:	They're even better. I only spent a week or so putting together this web site, but I spent a year or two on each book, writing it, editing it, and re-editing it until I'm sick of it.


Buying the Books
Q:	You seem very intelligent and I can't wait to read your books. Unfortunately, they all seem to be unpublished. When will they be published?



A:	First of all, thank you for the very nice compliment. Since I'm publishing the books myself (which means that I'm paying all the costs myself), it's simply a matter of how much money I want to lose, and how quickly I want to lose it. I'm currently planning on publishing the books at the rate of one or two books per year. If people actually buy them and I make enough money to cover the publishing costs, I may publish them at a faster rate. Update: In April 2005, At The Arms was published, and can now be purchased for a very reasonable $19.95. Update: In January 2006, Vacationing with Jel was published, and can be purchased for an even more reasonable $16.95. Update: In April 2007, The Useless Detective was published, and can be purchased for the absurdly reasonable price of $15.95. Update: In December 2007, Essential Stories was published, and can be purchased for the somewhat reasonable price of $19.95.


Print on Demand
Q:	I read your little essay on "Print on Demand." It sounds like a promising technology, but do you really think that otherwise-unpublishable writers like you have any chance of making money with it?



A:	That remains to be seen. Offhand I'd say no, since people will either buy a book or they won't, regardless of whatever particular technology was used to publish and distribute it. But having said that, I also have to say that even though I don't expect to make any money at this, I'm not opposed to the idea either. So each time I publish a new book, I encourage you to buy a copy. Better yet, buy several copies. As a matter of fact, buy as many copies as you can afford.


Contacting the Author
Q:	Is that you in all those little pictures at the top of each page? I think you're really good-looking! And you seem really smart too. How can I get in touch with you?



A:	I'm not really that good-looking--those are bad photos, but thank you anyway. My email address is rbk@rbkaplan.com. I welcome messages of all topics and opinions, but I prefer compliments to insults. I read every message I receive, but I can't guarantee that I'll respond to each one. If you'd like a response, try not to be too critical of me or this web site in your message.


My Other Interests
Q:	I just got through reading your biography. Are you really as boring as you sound? Aren't you interested in anything besides writing? And if you're as boring as you say you are, how could you possibly have anything interesting to write about?



A:	First of all, I'm interested in all sorts of things, ranging from cognitive linguistics to modern architecture to the physiology of the eye to chair design to things I can't even remember. And some of my interests occasionally work their way into the books I write in some oblique way. For example, all of my novels discuss residential architecture in one way or another, even though the books aren't about architecture. But I don't write books about the things I'm interested in--I'm not self-indulgent enough for that. I'm more interested in telling stories--it doesn't really matter to me what they're about. So I'm not likely to write a story about chair design, for example. (I did write a short story about the physiology of the eye when I was a lot younger, but it wasn't very good.)


Architecture and Literature
Q:	You mention architecture a lot. You even make some tenuous analogy between your early writing style and modern architecture, which I suspect is mostly nonsense. I'm not the least bit interested in architecture. Will I still enjoy your books?



A:	Yes, you probably will. My books are intended for everyone, irrespective of their interest in architecture or anything else.



Q:	Wait a second. How can you make a blanket statement like that? If your books are intended for "everyone," then how come "everyone" doesn't think they're so great, like all those agents and publishers who rejected your manuscripts?



A:	Good point. I guess I was exaggerating a little. I don't think my books are for everyone, but I am surprised at how many people seem to enjoy reading them.



Q:	And all those people who enjoy reading your books, they don't necessarily care about architecture one way or the other, right?



A:	Right. I honestly think you're concentrating on this architecture issue way too much. It really isn't a big part of what I write about.



Q:	Fine, but you're the one who brought it up, when you made that analogy between architecture and fiction.



A:	Okay, then here's another analogy for you. Some books are serious and weighty, like a huge meal. As satisfying as they are when you're done with them, sometimes it takes a lot of effort to work your way through them. My books aren't like that at all. My books are light and tasty, and when you finish one, it leaves you hungry for another. Each one is delicious, even though some of them might not taste like what you'd expect. And just to make my original point again, whether or not you like my books is in no way dependent on your taste in food or anything else.


Literary Influences
Q:	Which authors have influenced you the most?



A:	That's a very good question, but I don't have a very good answer. The truth is, I don't think there are any. There are a lot of really good writers in the world, and I like reading what they write, but I don't think they've influenced the way I write or the things I write about. For better or worse, my writing style pretty much developed in a vacuum. By the way, this is as good a place as any to mention that this web site doesn't necessarily reflect my writing style. When I'm writing a book, I read each sentence over and over, rewriting it until I'm happy with the way it sounds. On this web site, I pretty much write whatever enters my head.


Blogging
Q:	Do you have a blog? It seems like everyone who thinks he's a writer has a blog, so he can subject his readers to his self-indulgent ramblings which are of no interest to anyone other than himself.



A:	Yes, I do have a blog. You can read it by clicking here. I write about many things, but I try not to write anything too self-indulgent. Some of the things I write about aren't even of any particular interest to me.


Questions
Q:	How frequently asked does a question have to be to qualify as a frequently-asked question? I bet most of the questions you listed hardly get asked at all. They just don't sound like the kind of questions real people would ever ask. As a matter of fact, you made all these questions up, didn't you?



A:	Yes, I did, but that doesn't mean I won't answer real questions asked by real people. So feel free to ask me some questions. If I can answer them, I'll put them on this page, unless they're too personal or insulting or whatever.